how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
