Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
