Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
