he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
