i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
