Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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