You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am one with the molecules
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
