i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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