i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
