I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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