Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
