He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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