Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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