Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
