I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Fuck me I smell like cheese
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
