Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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