Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
