school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize