My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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