I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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