I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
