this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
