we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
ok first of all what the fuck
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
