I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
two words...techno handjob
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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