In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
