so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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