my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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