on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
