He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
