I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
