They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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