U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
