The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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