He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
