she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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