He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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