You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
