Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
