I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
