Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
