I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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