Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
