Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
