just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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