I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
