That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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