Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
