i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
