Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
