You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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