Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
